Fresh Eyes From God Changed My Life

     As I am writing this, I am in a hammock hanging off the side of a cliff in a small indigenous village in Panama. It is called the Comarca & we are living amongst the Ngäbe tribe (Pronounced No-Bay).

     Lately, I catch myself sitting in my hammock dreaming of home because it’s a thing I can’t have right now. My favorite place to be is so far away yet I’ll be there so soon. At times it doesn’t seem soon enough and other times I get very sad thinking about leaving all of these amazing people I’ve met along the way. 6 months is a long time to be away from everything I ever known. My heart longs for Corinth, MS with a burning passion. I miss the culture, I miss the food, I miss that small town vibe but more than anything I miss the people. Sure I’ll still travel and sure I’ll go on sporadic adventures but my home will forever be in the bottom of my heart. I plan to reside there until I die because that’s the place I thrive best. The southern hospitality & staple country food is hard to beat! Oh what I would do right now to have a slug burger or some Dilworth’s tamales! Oh goodness, or even some chocolate gravy for breakfast and my Meme’s chicken pot pie! We’ve ate rice and beans for all 3 meals pretty much every single day the past 6 months. 

     This has been the hardest 6 months of my life (even if it hasn’t looked like it) but also the most rewarding. Although I won’t have the perfect answer for you when you ask how my trip was, I will try my best to explain how dangerously amazing God was! God gave me fresh eyes and a whole new perspective on things which you will see a bit of below. He showed up in so many miraculous ways that it’s hard to even tell the stories and it do it justice. It’s honestly one of those things where you just had to be there to experience the power of it. Coming home is such an exciting feeling but also a very anxious feeling. 

     How will people view me when I come home? What do I tell people when they ask how my trip was? How do I answer when people ask me what next? How do I tell the stories without telling too much or not enough? How do I explain what all happened the past 6 months within a few sentences? Will people care about what happened? How do I act when I go in public knowing I can communicate with people no problem? Is it acceptable to kiss the toilet seat when I get home since I haven’t seen a flushing one in so long? Can I stay in the bathtub for 4 hours since I haven’t taken a bubble bath in 6 months or felt hot water? What if I wreck the first day I get back in a car behind the wheel? What do I do when I see someone struggling, can I just go up to them and start praying for them? Do I evangelize to strangers everyday like I do here? Can I lay hands on strangers to pray for them or share what the Holy Spirit gave me for them without them thinking I’m crazy? During worship at church will I still get on the floor in child’s pose when the Lord tells me to bow in reverence of Him? Can I pray in tongues without major criticism? Will people think I’m crazy now since I have a tattoo & my nose pierced & that’s not “normal for Christians”? Will my story still be as impactful in the US as it has been in Costa Rica and Panama? What will people say when I tell them I was baptized for a second time in my life while on this trip in the middle of the ocean? Will people be let down if I tell them the Lord hasn’t called me to full time foreign missions? 

     I keep playing all of these questions over and over again in my head. But I’ve realized that none of these are my questions to bare. I just have to give them all to the Lord and he will provide the answers in the proper time and wisdom where needed. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

??Matthew? ?6:34?

     I have changed drastically in my heart,my mind and even a bit of my physical appearance. Just know I am coming back different inside and out so don’t be alarmed if I don’t seem like my usual old self. It’s totally good tho, I haven’t joined a cult or anything preposterous like some have assumed… it’s just the Holy Spirit!! He’s so stinking great and I wish you all could experience the Holy Spirit the way I have over the past 6 months! I know most won’t and that’s totally okay, it doesn’t mean you aren’t saved if you haven’t. It will just be very sad knowing there’s more out there to having the Spirit dwell within you than what most churches in the US tell you about and you’re not even getting to experiencing it. I encourage you all to dedicate what time you have (and even making more time) to chase after the Lord whole heartedly and experience miracles through the Holy Spirit as I have. 

     You may ask… “Why does she talk about the Holy Spirit so much?” Well to answer your question, a majority of the Christians & Churches within the US in particular leave the Holy Spirit out of the Holy Trinity when that is just as important as the others. They are equals, Father, Son and Holy Spirit… they are one in the same! There is lot of skepticism about “Charismatic churches” and the thing is… no matter what denomination you are, there are TONS of churches that could use a lot more charisma so people don’t miss out on the Holy Spirit. 

     Here are the answers I do have to a few common questions I know will come up: Do I have all the answers? No. Will I become some insane evangelist? No clue. Was my trip transforming? Absolutely! Am I called to be a full time missionary? Yes!Do I feel called to full time foreign missions? No. Could the Lord change my mind? Absolutely. What does the Lord think about me getting a tattoo? Well the Lord spoke the words “Fully Known” over me towards the beginning of the trip in a time when I felt very unseen and unheard by God. I got that tattooed because I loved the phrase and I personally do not believe tattoos are a sin. Yes, I’ve read the scripture in Leviticus about tattoos and markings but I personally did not get that tattoos were a sin out of that.  I prayed and prayed about if that was okay to get the tattoo and the Lord did not give me a clear no, instead I had peace about my decision. I know lots of wonderful Christians with tattoos and I do not personally have a conviction about it. I would love to share more about the story of my tattoo if you ask. I know some will not agree, but that’s between me and the Lord. And in the Body, there is room for differing opinions! 

     What about my nose piercing? Well in Eziekel 16:11-14 it says, “I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign Lord.” Yes I know it’s describing how he built Jerusalem up as a queen and  later on in the chapter they ruined all he had done. But it sure is interesting how God is describing what he considers to be a beautiful queen and she has a ring in her nose. I think it’s cute and in no way do I think it’s wrong, I am just as a beautiful queen described in scripture during Biblical times. 

Why did you get Baptized again? Well when I was 7 years old, I got saved and then baptized. I remember the salvation part but don’t remember the baptism part. Lots of things have happened since I was 7 to now 21 and I have walked through a lot more since being older. I see it as a physical representation of renewing of mind body & spirit. But also surrendering my life to God. When I was 7 I surrendered my heart to Jesus, but surrendering my life has a totally different meaning to me. I wanted to be baptized again as an act of obedience to the Lord and because he has washed me and asked me to do something symbolically to remember how he has transformed me. There has been a lot of transformation even from 7 to 21 and things I wanted to be washed away. No where in scripture have I found that it is a sin to be baptized more than once. That’s like telling someone it was a sin to rededicate their life to the Lord after falling away from him or not meaning it the first time they asked to be saved. As far as I have read and studied we should ask for the Holy Spirit to baptized us daily to renew our mind, body and spirit. 

     When did I receive tongues and do I believe that’s a dead gift? I received tongues March 11, 2021 when I was baptized in the Holy Spirit (a topic for another time). I absolutely believe it’s an alive gift and no where in scripture does it say it’s dead. If that gift is dead, so are all of the others. It says over and over you can’t have one part of the body without the other. They all work together in unison. If we can’t have people speaking in tongues then we can’t have pastors either. I know the argument is that it died with the completion of the New Testament as well as prophecy and healings. I have experienced all three first hand since being on this trip so I know that is false. Don’t take my word for it though, read it for yourself and do some research. And then I’d love to talk about it! Some say that in Corinthians where it says there will be no need for these things when the time of perfection has come means the completion of the New Testament but there is no evidence to back that up. That argument also can’t stand due to the numerous times throughout the Bible that it describes the time of perfection being the second coming of Christ. Am I saying you have to speak in tongues or have some spiritual gift to go to heaven? Absolutely not! It definitely comes in handy and can help you to grow spiritually in your relationship with Christ. Some of the gifts are also very useful in evangelism. Paul says in 1 Corinthians “I wish more than anything that you could all speak in tongues & prophesy!” But like I said don’t take it from me you can read it for yourself in any Bible translation, including but no limited to KJV, NIV & NLT. 

??     Do you really lay hands on people and pray for healings? Absolutely! Over and over in scripture it talks about the power of laying hands on someone and asking for healing. I’ve seen TONS of healings first hand, some while I was praying for them & some while others were. Some were immediate results and some were later. By no means was it anything I or my teammates did, we just acted in faith and obedience to what the Lord asked us to do and he did the rest.

     Do you believe in spiritual warfare, demons or evil spirits? This is a big fat YES to all of those! Demonic things such as this are just as real as Holy things. We live in a spiritual world and if there is good spirits then there is bad spirits and they can attach themselves to literally anything. It could be something as small and what seems as insignificant as a pendant you bought from a vintage store or a cute crystal you bought at Earthbound (I love that store but you gotta be careful). Thankfully through Christ you have authority over these things if only you are aware of them and know to pray over spaces and things. I don’t say these things to scare you but that you are aware these things are very real and nothing to play with or take lightly. Just because you are saved doesn’t make you exempt from them either. It actually makes you more of a target for these things. The devil only tries to attack what he is afraid of and he is definitely afraid of missionaries sharing the gospel in foreign land with strangers. Although it says in scripture if you are saved you cannot be possessed that doesn’t mean evil spirits can’t attach themselves to you or can’t come into a space where you have invited them. Be aware of the things you are doing, games you are playing and movies you are watching. If you aren’t careful you could be inviting demonic spirits not only in to your home but your life. I also believe it has to do with how much space you are giving the Holy Spirit versus how much space you give unholy things. Also you know those weird and sometimes scary dreams you have? Yea that’s just one of the many forms of spiritual warfare so don’t overlook it. The devil loves knowing he can attack you when you are most vulnerable… aka sleeping. Thankfully through the Lord, he gives us authority over these things. He says in Luke 10:19, “Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.”

I say all of this to say, don’t get so caught up in the religion that you forget about the relationship. You’re religion is nothing without a personal relationship with Christ. Thank you for all of the support you have shown over the past 6 months & if you have any questions I would love to try & answer them! Just reach out on any social media platform! See you so so soon! 

 Much love,

     Erika Talley 

love love love team road!! These women are amazing & have pushed me so closer to the Lord in every area! ????